A good read: Spare the Change

 
Rely on your ‘BrainStyle’ to enhance your life.

Fix this or change that. Forget these mantras of the self-help movement, says management con­sultant Marlane Miller. To improve yourself, be more of yourself, adds the author of BrainStyles: Change Your Life Without Changing Who You Are (Simon & Schuster) and a member of the University Club of Dallas. The concept driving BrainStyles is Miller’s premise that you can’t change people. BrainStyles grew out of a situation several years ago at her husband’s company. He had taken over an entre­preneurial endeavor in which annual sales were about $5 million and losses about $400,000. Traditional teamwork models were not accomplishing the needed turnaround. The couple devised BrainStyles to identify people’s strengths and better match them to jobs. In the succeeding five years, the company grew to more than $40 million in sales, with a strong bottom line. Miller recently discussed her book with Private Clubs magazine.

What is BrainStyles?

BrainStyles is a system to define how your brain works the easiest, most natural, and most effortlessly when you are solving problems and making decisions. The concept is designed to heighten your awareness of who you are.

How is this concept different from other self-help systems?

Other systems have come from psychologists — people who study and observe, but who don’t apply. Where you run into trouble is when you make decisions. Brain­Styles is about looking past what you can see. It is all about how to take action. It is useful.

Briefly explain what distinguishes the four BrainStyles.

A “Knower” brings clarity and focus to a decision. A Knower is logical and practical when solving tangible problems.

A “Conciliator” is someone who operates in the abstract world of the intangible and immeasurable. The imaginative, emotional, fanciful, or spiritual is comfortable for the Conciliator.

A “Conceptor” is a person who forms general notions or ideas by mentally combining all the characteristics or particulars of a decision. The Conceptor possesses the gift to invent, because information is collected by both right-brain intuition and left-brain judgment.

A “Deliberator” has the gift to assess what’s actually going on around them and to remember what they have stored in their mental files as the best or right answer to a situation before taking action. They can be rapid with opinions or assessments of a situation, but they may delay decisions to act.

BrainStyles is based on the premise that you can’t change people. Isn’t change sometimes needed?

This issue of change is one of the cruxes of BrainStyles. Traditional behavioral systems are based on the ideas of change and improvement. In other words, we get to control our environment. BrainStyles relies on the school of thought that we are already perfect. There is nothing to fix. Even when we make mistakes, there is a broader view.

When you and I have a relationship in which I say I don’t want you to change, it is extraordinary. If I don’t become fixated on your behavior, I might get to something else.

Still, you may have to let people go in the workplace or you might have to end relationships. Right?

Rocks are hard; water is wet. What matters is your getting the right fit for your gifts. When your gifts don’t match the job, you feel terrible. You are constantly working, struggling, and straining to do the work.

Is this where the recognition of what you call strengths and non-strengths comes into play?

Yes. You don’t get to vote on your job description. The change is in my expectations for my abilities. And my change is in my expectations for you. When I accept my gifts and limitations, I expect different things from colleagues. This acceptance changes who I want to hire and who I want to use as resources.

For example, I hate to negotiate. But I know at some point I am going to have to use my non-strengths. However, I am armed with that information. Therefore, I have this awareness that when we start talking money, I need to go a little slower and be a little more cautious. It’s OK that I say: “Let me think about this. Let me get back to you.” Then I am free to come up with alternatives. Or I can take the time to get input from someone whose strength is negotiating.

Your book talks about applying BrainStyles to business and personal lives. Is one easier than the other?

In most social settings, BrainStyles don’t show up. They typically show up when you make decisions. In general, a great deal of your personal life is just being with someone or enjoying something. What people who use BrainStyles in their personal lives have told me is that they are not so judgmental.

Can you have a different BrainStyle at work and at home?

No. But at work, when we are drawing from our expertise, we all look like Knowers. We’ve been there, done that.

Are there more compatible and less compatible BrainStyles?

The only pair that I’ve never seen together or know about is the Knower-Knower. They are about turf, control, getting things right, and wanting to win.

The best pairing for long-term relationships are Deliberators, because they look at things more rationally. They are the models of our society.

Associate Club members are active people. Can BrainStyles help you in hobbies, such as golf or tennis?

Yes. If you look at the PGA Tour, 99 percent of the pros are probably Deliberators. In general, Deliberators do better at golf because they are more sequential, less emotional, more logical, and can repeat a behavior more consistently. Deliberators love playing golf because it’s a game that draws from their strengths. It’s a game of nuance, millimeters, repetition, challenge, and outside stimulus. For a Conciliator, it’s a different game. It’s about overcoming oneself and mastering one’s inner challenges. An issue for Conciliators is not to take things personally. And golf can be very personal.

A big difference between tennis and golf is the pace. BrainStyles is about timing. If you are a person with a very high energy level, you tend to enjoy things that move quicker. Tennis takes a quicker action. It often takes six or seven holes of golf for high energy people to slow down and focus. In tennis, they’re good right away. Match­ing your energy level to a sport is a big factor in your enjoyment and ability to play and focus.

What is your BrainStyle?

I’m a Conciliator.